In our modern world, it’s easy to be hard on ourselves. We often set high expectations, set a long list of “to-do’s”, criticize our mistakes, and measure our worth based on achievements. If you catch yourself “should-ing” yourself – as in “I should be X” or “I should have done X”, then self-compassion is a skill you will want to explore! Practicing self-compassion can make a significant difference in our mental health and overall well-being.

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness, understanding, and patience that we would offer a friend. It means acknowledging our flaws without judgment, recognizing our humanity, and providing ourselves with emotional support (rather than harsh judgement) when things go wrong.

Moreover, self-compassion encourages emotional resilience. Life’s ups and downs are inevitable, and when we show ourselves compassion, we’re better able to navigate tough situations. Rather than spiraling into self-blame or extreme criticism, we learn to bounce back more effectively, which boosts our emotional well-being. It’s like having an internal, positive coach cheering you on and reminding you that you are capable of great things, even when things aren’t perfect.

Why Lean into Self-Compassion

One of the primary benefits of self-compassion is its ability to reduce stress and anxiety. When we stop being overly critical of ourselves, we free up mental energy to focus on growth and solutions, rather than dwelling on mistakes. It helps break the cycle of negative thinking, which is often at the core of mental health challenges like depression and anxiety.

Lastly, practicing self-compassion improves our relationships with others. When we treat ourselves kindly, we are more likely to extend that same kindness to others. You also demonstrate healthy self-treatment to your kids, family, and co-workers. It promotes healthier interactions and helps build a support network that nurtures our growth and happiness.

Case Example

I often here clients say something like “I should have eaten something healthier, but I was so hungry when I sat down I just wanted to eat what was easy/sounded good/I didn’t have any will power”.

Leaning into self-compassion in this situation acknowledges that you are human! You’re not a robot, and you can’t commit to always eating healthy. Self-compassion sounds more like this: “I really want to eat healthier. But I get so hungry before the meal that it’s hard to make a good decision. Maybe I’ll pack a snack so that I’m not starving when I sit down for my meal.”

Takeaway

Incorporating self-compassion into our daily lives doesn’t require dramatic changes. It can start with small acts: speaking kindly to yourself, practicing mindfulness, or simply accepting that it’s okay to not be perfect. By embracing self-compassion, we pave the way for better mental health, a more positive self-image, and a greater sense of overall well-being.

Written by: Stephanie Anklan, Registered Dietitian